In case you havent heard, there is a brash new movement afoot to make America a nonaligned nation. The principal motivation behind the movement is worldwide ingratitude for the sacrifices America has made for the benefit of other nations, while getting back precious little in return, mat ...

Microsoft, in its ceaseless quest to out hip Apple, has just introduced a music player of its own, called Zunetti. In announcing the dazzling mini-innovation, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer highlighted the advantages of the new device over the iPod. It's even thinner than the iPod Nano but ...

In a world caught up in effects, with scant attention being paid to causes, we find that France which has, in the understatement of the current issue, abstained from a full-throttle commitment to the war on terror has gotten its terrorist wakeup call. Al-Qaeda announced it had formed a ...

The surgeon general, noting the widely publicized outbreak of e.coli in 20 or so states, has issued a new health warning on spinach. There were, of course, comments aplenty in the press about the possible effects on Popeye, The Sailor Man. But what about Olive Oil Could she escape, espec ...

It appears, scandalously enough, to be the question Islamic terrorism foists on us. Of course, there are times when a chancy question can diplomatically be allowed to slip by unanswered, especially by a humor magazine. But there are also times when, instead of slipping by, it just keeps ...

The U. S. may be down and out as far as current allies go, but we still seem to have at least one ally without an alibi: Tony Blair, who has just dared to say that the world needs America to help deal with the worlds most acute problems. In a pamphlet published by The Foreign Policy Cent ...

Bin Laden Dead Osama Bin Laden is dead. We know this for certain, because, after five years of knowing only that he had access to a tape recorder, we were bound to know at least one thing about him that is certain. Were also as aware as we care to be that there have been previous rumors ...

Is everybody happy with the way the US is behaving as the worlds most powerful nation No Well, when has everybody ever been happy about anything So lets think about what other nations might do a better job. What if Russia had won the cold war How much do you really enjoy vodka And do you ...

This week were excused from having to pick our Clever Monkey of the Week from the human performers on the worlds stage, because theyve been outdone by the bluegill sunfish. This clever denizen of just about every pond and lake in America is, we learn, helping to protect the water supplie ...

Continuing Readers: Please, page down past the brief introductory note. New Readers: If you missed Part One, "The Invention of Sex," youll find it elsewhere on this site or in the archieve of previous issues at NewsLaugh; the link is on the lower left. Heres the brief introduction to th ...

At least, Washington can agree to come together to defend one of its own. The politcos did just that in response to Hugo Chavez calling President Bush the devil in a speech at the United Nations. Commendably, Representative Charles Rangel, a New York Democrat no less, came forward fittin ...

Just when we thought all Iranian women were contentedly hiding behind their veils, what do we read but one not only made it to America but just made it into space The daring and successful Anousheh Ansari, who grew up in Iran dreaming, not of memorizing the Koran as a safe substitute for ...

New York has just been ranked as the safest of Americas ten biggest cities in 2005, where, according to the FBI, about one crime was reported for every 37 people. This is the second year in a row that New York has been named Americas safest big city. How scary is that While Mayor Michael ...

Recently, scientists discovered 52 new species in the Pacific off Indonesia. Elated, Mark Erdmann, a U. S. scientist who led surveys there this year, stated, We feel very confident that this is the epicenter of marine biodiversity on the planet. They immediately urged that the precious a ...

Though certainly not as cuddly or kid-friendly as the latest version of that giggling monster, you know -- the one with the bulging eyes and red fur -- a new T-shirt is none the less striving to tickle the funny bone of a few consumers. "Oh my," a blushing Stephanie Wise said when shown ...

Most riddles are a form of lateral-thinking puzzle. To get them, you have to move laterally in your mind, away from the expected line of thought. This is especially true of funny riddles. What did the others do when the cannibal was late for dinner They gave him the cold shoulder, of cou ...

One would think that the number of American lives that have been sacrificed or maimed and the enormity of American treasure that has been expended in Iraq would elicit some degree of gratitude among Iraqis. But a new poll, which was done for the University of Maryland's Program on Intern ...

We were sitting here trying, as usual, to figure out how todays America, saddled with the burdens of inadvertent empire, could conduct itself in the world so Americans are happy about how were doing and the rest of the world might actually either approve or have a hard time disapproving ...

Concerning the useless fact Most toilets flush in E-Flat, let no one take offense. I'll only ramble, tongue in cheek, through the inter-relationships of concepts, words, musical notes, my musically inoperative mind, and the placement of these patterns in the different octaves through a f ...

A coyote was caught molesting a flock of lambs. Confronted about his predatory behavior, he became immediately repentant and explained how he could have fallen into such disgraceful behavior. According to the coyote, he was, as a youth, molested by a cocker spaniel. After providing his e ...