When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them.
Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover Can you imagine the worst thing you might find Predict what your response will be |
| to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready Here are some specific questions to ask:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover the worst Do they know I might need them Have I told them exactly how they might help me Do I have the capacity to stand back from the deep emotions and not get mired or lost in destructive thoughts and feelings
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past What if it gets almost unbearable If I encounter the worst possible emotional hurt and pain, do I have a therapist I can contact immediately and see soon to help me through the rough spots
3) You see the signs of a cheating spouse. What will be my strategy for what I find Do I have a strategy for the different scenarios Do I have a strategy to confront or not confront my spouse How, when and under what circumstances will I confront him/her
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care What will I need to do to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who knows about cheating husbands and cheating wives and who can help me develop strategies and goals for confrontation and self-care Someone to keep me focused and working on these strategies and goals
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face Do I know the prognosis for that kind of affair Have I educated myself about affairs and what I must do to effectively resolve and move through this crisis
About The Author
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com.
This article was posted on September 19, 2005 |
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