When your world is filled with many wonderful opportunities,
it can feel difficult if you feel you must choose between
them, and it's equally rough if you have a hard time saying
no to people. Yet saying yes to everything can lead to both
over-commitment and resentment, which can erode your
relationships, | | whether at work or home or in your community.
Many people feel the symptoms of this without realizing what,
exactly, is going on. See if you recognize yourself in any of
these symptoms:
- feeling conflicted in what you should do versus what you
want to do,
- feeling exhausted,
- feeling guilty because you are afraid you are letting others down,
- not having enough time,
- feeling resentful, and
- feeling as if the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders.
If you have any of these feelings, its time to take your
life back. It's time to collect your personal energy and
redistribute it according to your priorities. Take your
power back from the invisible tyrannies of a material
culture that says, More-more, faster-faster is a better
way of life.
The solution is something we call selfing, neither
selfish nor selfless, but the perfect balance between
the two. Selfing is the skill of being true to yourself
and making commitments to others only when it does not
involve sacrifice. (In this context, sacrifice means doing
something you dont want to do because you fear what might
happen if you dont.
For more on this, see part 1 of this article series.
Needing to accommodate others' desires and curry their
favor at your own expense can be a cruel master; living
your life according to other peoples terms of success
is no kind of life--or success--at all. Take your life
back and recommit it to the people and activities that
bring you the most peace, happiness and long-term
satisfaction. Heres how you can start today:
1. Make a list of the relationships and activities that
bring you the most peace, satisfaction and a sense of
deep meaning in your life. Be sure to include time for
regenerating and inspiring yourself.
2. Make note of how much time you spend in
those activities or honoring and nurturing those
relationships. Does it seem that you aren't giving
enough to these areas
3. Create the time to honor your priorities.
Perhaps you'll have to start declining some invitations
or scheduling your time better and then sticking to it.
Perhaps you may have to set some new boundaries with
friends or co-workers.
4. Write down the obstacles to re-ordering your
life to your true priorities.
5. Create a strategy to overcome the obstacles.
Get help from a friend or coach if you need it.
6. Refuse the efforts of others to manipulate,
control or produce guilt in you. Be willing to upset
the status quo for a while till things find a new and
healthier balance. |
| | your
life to your true priorities.
5. Create a strategy to overcome the obstacles.
Get help from a friend or coach if you need it.
6. Refuse the efforts of others to manipulate,
control or produce guilt in you. Be willing to upset
the status quo for a while till things find a new and
healthier balance.
7. Commit to loving yourself enough to stay on
track with this new resolve.
Your life belongs to you. If you dont take care of it,
you will suffer and everyone who really cares about you
will suffer. The high art of self-love and self-care
cannot be delegated. When you do honor yourself, you
honor those you care about, too. You create relationships
in which everyone can share true feelings and genuine
commitment without sacrifice. Instead, they are filled
with honesty and the real desire to live, love, play,
work, or build something of value together.
© 2006 Paul and Layne Cutright All rights reserved.
You may publish this article in its entirety and with
the authors resource information intact.
About The Author
Paul and Layne Cutright are relationship coaches and teachers who have been offering secrets and strategies for successful relationships at home and in business since 1976. They are authors of the best selling book, Youre Never Upset for the Reason You Think Secrets and Strategies for Resolving Any Upset Quickly and Easily. www.PaulandLayne.com
paul@paulandlayne.com
This article was posted on April 15, 2006 |
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1. How Can I Trust Anyone Again? 2. Rekindle the Fire 3. How to Write a Successful Personal Ad 4. How to Increase Being Asked Out on Dates by 80% 5. Dancing With Your Star!
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