Many men are convinced that if they just find the right woman then everything will be perfect in their marriage. They either think that they are fine as they are or they think that they dont have to change or dont want to.
They want their wives to accept them for who they are.
Okay. Lets take a look | | at who you are.
How did you prior relationships or marriages fair If you are a widower and the reason you are looking for a new spouse is because your wonderful spouse died -- you may be right you may be a great husband and father.
For the rest of you, and I am including myself in this group, take a look at all of your relationships that failed. What is the common denominator in all those relationships Give up
YOU. Thats right. You are the common denominator in all your failed relationships.
That should give you a clue that there are chinks in your armor.
Lets go through a checklist:
Do you drink alcohol to excess or use drugs
How often
Every day
Every week
Have you gotten into trouble with the law or at work or in your relationships because of this
Do you gamble
Do you bet on sports or other events
How often do you go to gaming casinos
Do you bet more than you can afford
Can you stay within your pre-set limit
Has gambling been a problem in your past relationships
Do you like pornography
Do you frequent strip clubs or cathouses
Have you had sex outside of your marriage or relationships in the past
Have you been serially monogamous (faithful to your partner)
Has sex been an issue in your relationships before
Can you and have you had reasonably frequent sex with your past partners
Do you have problems with sex (premature ejaculation, failure to get an erection, et cetera)
Have you had problems at work because of sex (sexual harassment, having sex with coworkers, et cetera)
Are you financially stable
Can you provide for your wife
Do you have financial problems or have you had financial problems in the past
Are you current on your bills
Do you have savings accounts and retirement accounts
Do you have divorce settlements or child support payments that severely restrict your lifestyle
Are you paying child support for minor children that you have
Are you current on your child support
Are you actively involved in your childrens lives
Would you consider yourself a good example to your children and other children
Do you spend time with your children
Do you feel guilty about your relationship with your children
Do you do things with them that you both like to do Are children safe with you
Are you safety conscious
Do you wear a seat belt
Do you have car insurance
Do you have life insurance
Do you have health insurance
Do you have disability insurance
Do you have property insurance
Are you a safe driver
Do you drink and drive
Are you in good health
Do you exercise
Is your weight normal
How would you rate your eating |
| | wear a seat belt
Do you have car insurance
Do you have life insurance
Do you have health insurance
Do you have disability insurance
Do you have property insurance
Are you a safe driver
Do you drink and drive
Are you in good health
Do you exercise
Is your weight normal
How would you rate your eating habits
Would you be able to complete a five-mile hike without problem
Are you able to play with your kids without problem
How is your job
Are you employed
Do you find your job rewarding
Is your job stable
Do you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a new job
Do you get along with your co-workers
Would someone else describe you as a workaholic
Would you describe yourself as a good person
Would you describe yourself as a moral person
Are you trustworthy
Are you a good friend
Do you have a few good friends or people you can confide in
How are your family relationships
Do you get along well with your parents and siblings
Is your family structure a healthy one
Do you consider yourself a spiritual or religious person
Do you go to church or regular spiritual gatherings
Are you considered a member in good standing at your church or spiritual organization by others in your organization Do you have healthy hobbies and interests
Do you read books and like to learn new things
Is your television viewing taking over a large portion of your life
Does your computer time cut into your family time or your involvement with others
Do you have volunteer organizations that you donate time to
Are you involved in coaching or other community activities in which you give back to the community
If you answer these questions honestly, you should have a fairly good appraisal of yourself as a human being, potential husband, father, employee, and community member.
You know your strengths and your shortcomings.
Are you willing to work on your shortcomings to become a better person
If not, then you probably arent going to make a very good husband and father. The best way to get in touch with your personal shortcomings is to get involved in a relationship.
Your wife will be more than happy to point out any shortcomings you have that are in your blind spot!
You can wait until she points them out or you can work on them yourself. I recommend that you take care of them yourself.
Do you know what the secret is to finding a perfect mate The secret is that you have to attract her to you. Not with money, trinkets, bragging, buying her gifts, or showering attention on her.
You have to attract her on a cosmic level. You have to become the kind of human being whose personal standards are so high that you are irresistible to a woman who is looking for the ideal man.
It is a law of the universe that like attracts like. You are going to attract to yourself exactly the kind of person that you are.
The best way to attract the best quality woman for you is for you to become the best person you can be.
In other words, the process of finding the perfect mate is more about you becoming the best man you can be rather than it is about finding the best woman.
If you are the perfect man, you will attract the perfect woman.
You now know your assignment work on developing your personal strengths and minimizing your personal weaknesses.
Become the kind of man that she will leave everything that she knows and loves behind and follows half way around the world to have and to hold.
The process of wooing, winning, and wedding the woman of your dreams has been a personal quest for you.
Like the knights of old, to join the Round Table, they had to venture on a quest where they used all their talents, skills, and mental toughness and ingenuity to accomplish their quest.
The quest in itself was not the important thing. It was how the knight was transformed while on his quest. He became a better person. He was transformed into a man who could slay dragons or move mountains.
In the process of your pursuit of your ideal mate, you will be transformed. You will be become a better person, a better husband, and a better father.
Your quest to woo, win, and wed the woman of your dreams is more about you becoming the right man than it is about finding the right woman.
About The Author
John Kunkle has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
http://www.russian-luv.com/ready.html
This article was posted on November 20, 2006 |
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