You Cant Change Him Stop Trying!
No matter how terrific your spouse may seem, nobodys perfect. This may seem like an obvious statement, but it is one we often need to remind ourselves. When were first in a relationship, its easy to put someone on a pedestal. The beginning of a relationship can be | | so much fun that its hard to remember that your partner must have flaws.
Forgetting that your partner is imperfect, though, can be dangerous. It makes it hard to keep your expectations on a realistic level.
No matter how well you get along, there are going to be times when you disagree. Youll also experience times when your partner wont understand your side of things. Never assume that your partner can read your mind.
Communication is the key to keeping things realistic and functional. Make sure that you understand each other when youre talking. When you accept that you wont always agree with each other, but youll respect each other, youre taking a big step.
Remember, people dont change who they are. They may grow and evolve, but their personalities remain the same. By the age of 20, the majority of us have developed our full set of beliefs, values, and personality traits. By believing that you can change someone, your relationship will be doomed from the beginning.
Think about it, youre expecting a dramatic change from your partner that youd never even consider taking on for yourself. This is simply unfair to your partner.
By doing this, youre essentially getting the relationship off one-sided. If this is the way things are going, it will never work.
Since people dont change, it is your responsibility to yourself and your potential partner to be realistic. Build solid dating skills that will help you to screen prospective partners. Youll need to look for people that you wont feel the urge to change.
If a person is compatible from the start, then the odds are that this person will remain compatible in the future.
Keep in mind that compatible doesnt mean perfect. It just means that the person has characteristics you enjoy, and that you dont feel the need to change.
By keeping this in mind, youll be much more realistic when you date, and will be much more fair. Youll end up in happier relationships, and your expectations will be more achievable. Youll also find that youre much happier with the people you choose. The stress is much lower when you accept people for who they are and dont have to remodel them.
About The Author
Dr. Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to se |
| | coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to see how personal coaching can benefit you.
alan@relationshipexperts.com
This article was posted on February 04, 2006 |
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